Breaking From the Inside
by pheobeobia
Summary: It's not hurting her. But HE is breaking her. She wants to kiss him, wants to hurt him, wants to cry into his shoulder. She doesn't give up without a fight but she's not sure that she won't hurt herself in the process.
1. Pink

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, all rights go to their proper owners.

A/N: Yeah I know I've got a few stories going on at the same time but I had to right this one, the idea kept haunting me.

"Schue," a voice nearly growled. Mr. Schue turned around. Santana took all the courage she had to look him in the eye and not let her knees give out. She was angry and she was hurt and for the third time in her life, she was scared. The hallway was empty, except for them. Santana's eyes narrowed in her calculated manner. Her hands were on her hips and her eyebrows slanted.

"Do you know what a pink plus is?" she asked. Mr. Schue didn't have the patience to listen to this but she was his student and even if he had made the biggest mistake of his life with her, he had to listen.

"No," he said honestly. Santana's eyes narrowed even more, boring holes into his own eyes.

"It means I'm _pregnant_," Santana leaned forward to enunciate her point. Mr. Schue felt like he had been slapped.

"With mine?" he stammered/scoffed. Santana's lips formed a little pout.

"Yes! I am not Quinn and I wouldn't lie about this," Santana said. Mr. Schue sunk down onto the floors.

"Damn it! I can't make one mistake without having another one come, could I?" Mr. Schue muttered. Santana's eyes flashed and she lifted Mr. Schue's chin, forcing him to look at her.

"Tell that to my face. Tell me that _I_ was a mistake. Tell me that _your child_ was a mistake," she hissed.

"Abortion," Mr. Schue choked out. Santana let go of him, she collapsed onto the floor. Only now, with all of these hormones, did she allow herself to cry. Mr. Schue looked at her in shock.

"I'm not getting an abortion, Mr. Schue," she sobbed. Mr. Schue looked at her with pity.

"Then what can we do?" he asked. Santana wiped her tears and looked at him.

"We could put the baby up for adoption. Now one would ever know that it was yours, except for me," Santana murmured.

"I can't believe it's my senior year and I got pregnant," Santana sighed. On the plus side, she was already eighteen so Mr. Schue couldn't get in trouble for sleeping with a minor.

"Are you…okay?" Mr. Schue asked. Santana looked up at him, shocked.

"Yes, actually. Are you?" Santana asked in return. Mr. Schue nodded and held out his hand to her. She hesitated, and then took it. He pulled her closer and she started to cry again, realizing the situation she was in. He wiped the tears from her face as quickly as they came.

Mr. Schue pulled away and stood up. Santana still looked fierce to him. She stood up on her own and wiped the tears from her face.

"Bye," Santana murmured and she left the school building.

She wished he would follow her, but she knew he wouldn't. He might even be going home to Ms. Pillsbury.

The very thought made Santana want to lock herself away for nine months.


	2. Breakage

Santana was walking down the hall to find Mr. Schue to tell him about her ultra-sound in a few weeks. When she walked by his office, he was busy. His lips were glued to Ms. Pillsbury's. Santana felt the urge to rip them both apart. She knew a relationship between her and Mr. Schue was almost as impossible as Quinn and Puck but she at least expected him to be faithful for her pregnancy.

A few weeks later, Mr. Schue heard a knock on his door. He swung it open, expecting Emma.

"Santana?" Mr. Schue asked. Santana's glare bore into him.

"Here," she said.

She handed him an envelope.

"What is this?" he asked.

"It's the bill for my ultra-sound last week. I thought that you might want to help out somehow for your child," Santana said once they were in the safety of his house.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mr. Schue asked. Santana laughed bitterly.

"The first time I went to tell you, you were in a lip-lock with Ms. P. And then I did tell you but you clearly weren't listening," Santana huffed.

"I'm sorry," Mr. Schue said honestly.

"So how far along are you?" he asked timidly.

"About five weeks," Santana said. Santana sat down on the couch.

"I'm going to try to be better, Santana," Mr. Schue murmured.

"Yeah, well, tell that to your girlfriend," Santana mumbled. Mr. Schue flinched. Santana was mean to people who hurt her, and Mr. Schue hurt her deeply when he said that she was a mistake.

"I get that we aren't a couple, but I am carrying your little spawn inside of me so you better be nice to me in order for me to be nice to you," Santana hissed.

"Santana, I'm sorry," Mr. Schue said again.

"When we conceived this baby, you weren't drunk and I wasn't drunk. We both felt something. Don't pretend you didn't," Santana said softly before leaving.

Santana walked down the hallways of WMHS. She had just finished talking to Kurt and was on her way to her locker when Mr. Schue came in the building, holding hands with Ms. Pillsbury. Mr. Schue smiled to Santana comfortingly and even though it was just friendly, Santana melted. Then Emma kissed Mr. Schue's cheek and some roaring meanness that even Santana didn't know came to life inside of her. Santana's fists clenched and when she turned to her locker, in order to keep from snarling, she bit down on her lip so hard that she bled.

Damn it, Mr. Schue was unhinging her, no, he was breaking her from the inside out.


	3. Erased

Santana felt the baby kick. She was in Mr. Schue's apartment, for some reason she couldn't bear to not be with him even if he was in love with Ms. P. Santana was standing and Mr. Schue was on the couch, not looking at her.

"It kicked," Santana said, gasping for air. Mr. Schue was over in a second and he felt he baby kick too.

"It's actually in there," he breathed. Santana glared at him. His words had been hurtful and her glare was killer.

"_I_ wouldn't lie about this," she murmured with poison in her tone. Santana went into the back room to get dressed for the glee outing later that night. They were going to a theater show and Santana was wearing a dress. Her baby bump was still smallish and the dress made it barely noticeable.

"How do I look?" Santana asked as she came out. She saw Mr. Schue's pupils dilate and his eyes widen. If she could get this reaction from Mr. Schue, who was so carefully guarded, she didn't have to guess how the other boys would react. She came further into the room.

"Stunning. I mean, you know…considering your baby bump," he covered his first slip-up pretty well. He came over to grab his tie, which was below Santana's arm. He slipped his arm under hers to grab it. They locked eyes. He unintentionally stepped closer to her and then moved his arm so he could put the tie on. Her hypnotizing gaze made him fumble with the tie and Santana lifted her hands to tie it for him, positioning her face even closer to his.

"Thanks," he stuttered. Santana smiled.

"Anytime. Can you zip up the top of my dress?" she asked and turned around. Her arm wasn't flexible enough to zip it up more than halfway. Mr. Schue moved his hand to her zipper. She felt his skin against hers. He zipped it up until it was an inch to the top. Santana turned around to ask what was wrong but Mr. Schue pressed his lips to hers. Santana hated herself for the desperation she put into the kiss. Mr. Schue pulled away suddenly finished zippering her up before he stepped away from her. Santana placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Don't be afraid," she whispered. She started crying. She didn't know why or if it was those damn pregnancy hormones but she felt tears trace her face. Mr. Schue pulled her close and let her cry into his shoulder, luckily her tears didn't get on his clothes. And as she sobbed into his shoulder, their kiss was forgotten.

"If you tell anyone that I cried," Santana threatened. Mr. Schue shushed her gently. Her face was still in his shoulder.

"I won't," Mr. Schue said. And Santana shuddered as he started to stroke her hair.

At the theater, even Emma was there. Mr. Schue kissed her. Santana saw the urgency of the kiss, as if kissing Ms. P would remove all traces of Santana's lips – actually erase the kiss and the guilt it had plagued him with all together. As if Ms. P could erase _every_ kiss Mr. Schue and Santana had shared. Santana wanted to laugh bitterly. One piece of evidence couldn't be erased. The baby bump proved it.

Santana cried again. She cried every time Mr. Schue kissed Ms. P that night. She couldn't help crying… just the same as she couldn't help falling in love with Mr. Schue.


	4. Whiplash

"Hey, Santana, got one in the oven?" Puck smirked and waggled his eyebrows. Santana slapped him. Her nails dragged across the face. She pushed him away from her.

"You're an idiot," Santana hissed. The rest of glee filed in.

"Dude, what happened to your face?" Mike asked, looking at the three streaks on his cheek that was now bleeding.

"I got attacked by a crazy girl," Puck muttered. But the glee kids weren't staring at Puck, they were staring at Santana, whose baby bump was more evident now. Quinn sat down next to Santana.

"Who is the father?" Quinn asked.

"You just called me fat," Santana said bluntly.

"I'm not an idiot, San. It's a baby bump," Quinn muttered.

"You don't know that dad," Santana whispered. Quinn raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"It's not Mike, Puck, Matt or Finn's?" Quinn asked.

"Of course not!" Santana murmured.

"And they don't go to the school?" Quinn probed.

"Well…not technically," Santana squirmed. She could never lie whenever talking to Quinn.

"Whatever, I won't prod anymore," Quinn insisted. Mr. Schue came in. Santana hid a small smile.

"People know," Santana said as she stood rigidly in Mr. Schue's kitchen later that night.

"That's okay," he replied.

"What about when my parents find out. I'll be kicked out, like Quinn. And you don't anything to do with me," Santana muttered bitterly. Mr. Schue sighed and sat on the couch, not facing her.

"Santana, I just don't think that you and I have an appropriate teacher-student relationship," Mr. Schue admitted.

"YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!" Santana fumed. Mr. Schue turned to face her.

"I know. And I've already told you that it was a mistake," Mr. Schue said firmly.

"You don't care about this child, or me! You just want to get it out of me and get on with your life! Finn and Puck were better to Quinn than you are to me. I HATE YOU. GO TO HELL!" Santana screeched. She ran out of Mr. Schue's house and drove home. Santana sat in her car and cried. She hated him, but she loved him. Santana picked at the leather seats. Santana got out of the car and walked in the house.

"Mom, I'm home," Santana called out. Her mother came out.

"Santana! Dear, I think we should start you up at gymnastics again, you are getting a bit…pudgy," Vera said gently.

"You're nice," Santana rolled her eyes. Vera came closer.

"Santana, you know I don't mean it like that," Vera gently placed on hand on Santana's stomach. Santana flinched and the baby kicked. Vera's hand flew to her mouth.

"Mom, I can explain," Santana rushed.

"Robert! Robert get down here!" Vera yelled. Santana's dad clambered down the stairs.

"What is it now, Vera?" he asked.

"She's pregnant," Vera hissed. Robert was silent.

"Daddy, I'm sorry," Santana murmured.

"Santana, how could you be _stupid_ enough to get yourself pregnant!" Robert yelled.

"It was an accident, daddy!" Santana pleaded.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD LITTLE GIRL!" He said even louder.

"I'll go now," Santana said steely. She was not talked to like this by_ anyone_.

"At least you're smart enough to know that, and don't think about taking the car," Robert muttered and took the keys. Santana ran outside. She sat on the steps. She didn't cry. She just trembled. Headlights pulled into the driveway.

"Who's there?" Santana demanded.

"Come on, you might want a place to stay," Mr. Schue said as he came toward her.

"Okay, whatever," Santana muttered as she climbed into his car. She didn't look at him.

She was dizzy from her whiplash of emotions. One moment she hated him.

The next she was _completely in love with him._


	5. Kisses

Santana was making dinner. Mr. Schue wasn't home yet, he was on a date with Emma. He was four hours late. Santana assumed that this was close to how Quinn felt when Puck was sexting her during Quinn and Puck's babysitting gig. Mr. Schue came through the front door, glowing.

"The date was a miracle," he bubbled. Santana didn't smile.

"I made dinner," she said curtly and walked away.

"Oh no thanks, I ate with Emma, that's why I was late," he admitted. Santana slammed down her hand on the table.

"What?" Mr. Schue asked.

"I don't ask you be dating me but I am pregnant and not with my child but with our child! I need you to invest some time in it!" Santana yelled. Mr. Schue frowned.

"You're not my wife, stop acting like it," Mr. Schue muttered. Santana felt the baby move.

"You don't care about me," Santana said hollowly and automatically. Mr. Schue looked at her.

"We can't have this kind of relationship," he insisted.

"I'm not asking you to love me! I'm asking you to be here for the baby but also for me," Santana murmured. She locked her eyes on Mr. Schue and she bit her lip, he shuddered. She stepped closer.

"I guess that's reasonable," he muttered. He didn't know what he was doing when he leaned down and kissed her deeply. Santana smiled against him. She was kissing him senseless, she was driving him wild. He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her closer. When they broke apart he just kissed her again. Santana pulled away when she thought he was hesitating. He placed his hand on her face and pulled her in again. She laughed into the kiss. Mr. Schue could've stood there all night, kissing her until the sun rose. Santana was returning his kisses eagerly, pressing him closer, as if she missed him holding her like this. She felt some of the tension between them lift. It didn't even come crashing down when he pulled away, because he pulled her over to the couch and sat her own his lap, gazing up at the dark haired beauty.

Then he stood up with a troubled look and she felt herself sick with disappointment. He walked out of the apartment without a word. Santana had a fistful of her hair as she cried and cursed him off. Her world was falling and he was supposed to be her parachute, but instead he was bringing it down faster.


	6. Fight

Mr. Schue felt his world crash and burn. Santana had been growing more gorgeous every friggin day and now her water had broke. He drove to the hospital, cursing out Finn for offering to rive Santana. How could he ever protect her if it was Finn driving her? He heard nurses chatting. He only got a few words. _Stillborn_. _Mother died in childbrith_. _Poor girl was only eighteen, a Cheerleading legend_.

Mr. Schue was pulled from his nightmare. He checked on Santana in the guest room. She was alive and well. He didn't know what came over him put he scooped up Santana's sleeping form. He placed her in the bed with him and fell asleep soundly, no more nightmares to come.

Santana woke up in Mr. Schue's bed. She laughed to herself, leave it to Santana to charm men in her sleep. She felt the baby move. She smiled down at her stomach in spite of herself.

Mr. Schue woke up.

ant"Morning," she smiled, looking at him. Mr. Schue seemed fazed by the fact that she was still in his bed.

"Hey. I better get going, I have a date," He let the words slip. Santana's smile turned into a glare.

"_We_ decided you weren't going to date during the pregnancy," she growled the reminder. Mr. Schue ducked his head.

"Santana, I need romance in my life," he said softly. Santana stood up.

"Look at me. Look at what this symbolizes," she hissed. Mr. Schue's face was practically pouting.

"We decided that night was a mistake!" he said as he climbed out of bed.

"Maybe to you. And while I don't want to be pregnant-" Santana paused. He looked at her.

"I don't regret what we did that night," she admitted. Mr. Schue stared at her wide-eyed.

"Damn it, Santana, we can't do this! You are my student!" Mr. Schue yelled, making Santana recoil. Were those _tears_ in his eyes?

"You are the father of this baby!" she argued.

"A baby that's going away as soon as _its_ out of you!" he reminded her.

"You were the one who willingly agreed to have sex with me. You weren't drunk or under the influence of anything except me and when it came down to it you _wanted_ me!" Santana spat.

"You make _everyone_ want you!" he blurted.

"So you're calling me a slut. Is that all I am to you? A slut? A whore? A skank?" Santana's voice was rising.

"You are crazy," Mr. Schue muttered.

"You're a dead-beat father. No better than Puck's. You're a horrible baby-daddy and a Lima-loser. You are like Puck without the cougars. Except you slept with a student so you have something to make up for that. Are you _proud _to still be in Lima? Are you_ proud_ that the only two women that you've ever had a committed relationship with were a neurotic housewife and an OCD maniac? And that the only times you got any other action were from Rachel's mom and washed up drunk?" Santana sneered.

"Stop trying to be my girlfriend. You are my student!" Mr. Schue yelled.

"I am the mother of your child. That's more than Terri can say, she lied about it. And it's more than virginal Emma can say!" Santana was crying.

"What's wrong with you?" Mr. Schue screamed.

"I'm fucking in love with you!" Santana howled and then ran from the apartment and drove off into the morning.


	7. Incoming

Santana stood in Mr. Schue's apartment. She had stayed at Quinn's house for a week after she blew up and told Mr. Schue that she loved him. She always got in fights with him about dating. She couldn't stand seeing him date someone else and he couldn't pass the student/teacher boundary again. He found it easier to shut her out.

"Santana we aren't a couple, we won't ever _be_ a couple," Mr. Schue said gently. Santana frowned.

"Santana what I did that night was wrong and I was caught up in the moment," Mr. Schue continued. _LIAR, _Santana's mind screamed at him.

"We need to get through this like father and daughter, not like the parents of one child," Mr. Schue lamented. Santana froze, she looked down and gasped.

"Santana, say something," Mr. Schue murmured. Santana looked him in the eyes.

"My water broke," she muttered dizzily. Mr. Schue's eyes widened and he fumbled for his car keys, knocking over some plates and tripping over the couch as he pulled her to the car.

"Finn? Finn this is Mr. Schue. Santana's water just broke and I'm driving to the hospital. Tell the others. Also, I don't think the glee club should come. I'll chaperone," Mr. Schue stammered into his phone and then started driving, listening to Santana curse and holler about the pain.

"Goddamit it hurts," she screeched. Mr. Schue looked at her worriedly. He helped her into the hospital.

"Hello? My friend's giving birth, please," Mr. Schue pleaded to a doctor, unaware of the tears in his eyes and his fear for Santana. He hated himself in that moment for sleeping with her; but he hated himself because this was hurting her. Santana looked at him and she wanted to hit him and wanted to kiss him. She was soon in the bed, and the doctor was telling her to push and to hold on.

"It's a baby, not a pile of shit, I can't exactly control it!" Santana screamed.

"Push!"

"Fuck!" Santana howled.

"Push!"

"Goddamit!"

"Push"

"If you don't shut up I swear I will kill you!"

And then she blacked out.

And she was remembering

_Eight months prior:_

_"Hey Mr. Schue," Santana said as she came out of his bathroom. It looked like the rest of glee had left. _

_"You aren't in your cheerios outfit," he said stupidly, staring at the tight camisole she had on._

_"Yeah, I haven't been in it all night," she chuckled. He let his eyes search all over her. She noticed. She smiled, and nodded as if saying 'it's okay, I get it'. She looked at his face and laughed some more._

_"What?" he asked. She stepped closer to him and ran her finger down his nose._

_"You had flour on your nose," she teased him. He laughed and when she felt his sweet breath on her neck she realized how close they were. _

_"You ever been in love Mr. Schue?" she asked softly._

_"Yes," he whispered._

_"I'm not sure if I've ever been in love. Or with anyone who cares about me. Puck just wants a good time and Finn is just scared of me," she sighed. _

_"I care," Mr. Schue blurted. Santana smiled. She leaned her mouth up and kissed him lightly...almost innocently. But the way his hands landed on her hips, she deepened the kiss and she knew what she wanted when she felt Mr. Schue's eyes on hers._

Santana's eyes fluttered open and were blinded by light._  
_


	8. Vivienne

Mr. Schue was standing in the corner of the room, Santana rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She looked at herself, while she was not completely in her pre-baby body...the bulge was gone. She looked at Mr. Schue again. He had a bundle of blankets in his arms and his eyes were...loving. Santana sneezed and Mr. Schue put the blankets down in one of those medical baby cradles. He came over to her and sat down on the bed.

"How are you?" he asked and his eyes were filled were concern.

"I'm...confused. I'm sad, heartbroken and hurt. I'm happy and relieved. I'm angry," Santana stammered out all of the emotions that were coursing through her.

"Why?" he prompted gently.

"I'm confused because your acting nice. I'm sad, heartbroken and hurt because I'm really going to miss the baby and you. I'm happy and relieved because you're here and the baby is now in this world and I'm angry because...I don't know why, I just _am_," Santana shook her head.

"Santana...I want to keep her," Mr. Schue admitted slowly. Santana couldn't register his words.

"It's a her?" Santana asked.

"And I want to keep her," Mr. Schue reiterated.

"Well I guess you could. Emma can't be 'mom' though, since you will be keeping the baby with her. But I'd want to see the baby once in a while, " Santana muttered.

"No," he stopped her. Santana felt a knife rip through her heart. He didn't want her to see her baby?

"But-" Santana started to protest.

"Santana...I want to keep her with _you_," Mr. Schue said and locked eyes with her. Santana smiled and tears of joy spilled from her eyes as Mr. Schue's, no, _Will's_ lips pressed to hers.

"Do you want to see her?"Will asked breathlessly when they pulled away. Santana nodded, still trying to catch her breath. He got up and went over to where he had but the blanket bundle and then handed the bundle to her. She looked at the little baby that was in the blankets...eyes just barely closed...a beautiful baby. The complexion matched Will's but the mouth looked like Santana's. The little hair on her head was curly and the caramel color that Will had. Santana understood why after one look, Will wanted to keep her. She was beauty and she was the perfect mesh of both of them.

"What should we name her?" Will wondered. Santana smiled at the baby in her arms.

"I like the name Vivienne. Spelled like V-I-V-I-E-N-N-E," Santana murmured.

"I love it. And how about for a middle name we do...Hope," he suggested.

"It's perfect and I want her last name to be Schuester," Santana smiled up at Will as he crowded around her, looking at the baby. They both looked down as Vivienne yawned and Santana smiled. It was all worth it.

"We can't tell anyone at school that she's yours," Santana reminded him.

"I know, but we can tell them eventually," he replied and kissed Santana's forehead.

Santana cried with sweet relief.


	9. Time

**Six Months Later**

Santana rocked Vivienne lightly in her arms and was singing softly.

She put Vivienne down to sleep and started to work on her paper. She had been accepted into NYU with most of the other Glee members. She had a scholarship from Cheerios and Will had moved to New York with her. Vivienne's eyes were a startling blue, from Will's mother. Santana's clothes were torn, her eyes were tear stained and her hair was a mess. But, being Santana Lopez, she still looked stunning. Will walked in their apartment to find her crying silently. He walked over to her and pulled her into his arms.

"You okay?" he whispered into her ear.

"What if I fail out?" she trembled.

"Santana, you are so smart, it's impossible for you to fail," he replied. He looked down at her and chuckled.

"You're a mess," he sighed.

"What?"

"But you are the most beautiful mess I have ever seen," he said and kissed her tenderly. Vivienne woke up crying.

"I got her, you finish your paper, love," he said. Santana changed her clothes and started to work.

Hours flew by and she jumped when Will's lips pressed to her neck.

"Will," she whined.

"What? You could use a break," he said.

"No, not now," she said firmly. He kissed her.

"But, you need to relieve your stress," he muttered.

"We'll...wake...up...Vivi," she said between kisses.

"She's a deep sleeper," He responded.

"I hate it when your right," she said and he kissed her again, smiling in his victory.

Santana woke up the next morning to Vivienne crying lightly. Santana wiped the sleep from her eyes and went to start the new day.

A new day with Viv and Will


End file.
